+Check Pages at TOP for My Mother’s Writings

The page tabs above SHOULD connect to all my mother’s writings.  If they don’t, just drop me a comment below and I will see why not!!  Thanks for stopping by!

PLEASE keep in mind as you read these writings that my mother was seriously mentally ill, and although never diagnosed, showed symptoms of bi-polar, Borderline Personality Disorder and psychosis.  She was extremely abusive to me as a mother, and emotionally volatile and unstable.  My concern is about how outsiders can identify severe infant-child abusers so as to intervene on the behalf of children, because most readers would be hard pressed to actually FIND my mother’s mental illness in her writings — and this cunning ability to mask and disguise her madness and her meanness was a big part of the very illness itself.

+LINKS TO MY MOTHER’S 1945 DIARY AND MY INTRO TO IT

Both of the following pages are now published online:  MY INTRODUCTION TO MY MOTHER’S 1945 DIARY, is placed on Stop the Storm, connected to my story of leaving home.

I placed it here because while my mother’s own writings as they are contained in MY MOTHER’S 1945 DIARY belong at Take Care of Mothers because they are her words of her own life that did not relate to my life as a child until I reached my own teen and young adult years as her daughter.

My introduction describes how my mother found ways of letting me know prior to my leaving home what her own young adulthood was like for her – as she contrasted it very clearly to my own experience of being a teen and young adult — as her daughter.  Believe me, unlike her, I had no fun at all.

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+JUST A LINK TO TODAY’S STOP THE STORM POST

I began the page I wrote today (published under My Childhood Stories) in response to a reader’s post on my mother’s letters that I transcribed yesterday.  My writing rapidly led me in the direction of beginning to understand that I am both a witness abuse survivor of my own abuse at the same time I am a survivor of the abuse itself.  I am beginning to understand that these were two separate and different experiences that I had, NEARLY but not exactly at the same time, as I lived in one body, and that each affected me in different ways.   Like two different rivers feeding into one, both experiences are linked in differing ways to dissociation.

Today’s writing pathway also led into the subject of the gift of having the ability to wonder (or not ) and into a clear infant abuse memory that came to me shortly after I wrote the letter disowning my mother.

This entire writing is an important contribution to my growing understanding of a new ‘real reality’ that is separate and different from the reality that was built into my body-brain-mind during 18 years of abuse by my mother.

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+MY NEWEST PERSONAL STORY – THE FIRE ANTS

My own story of The Fire Ants, which relates to my mother’s June 17, 1957 letter that I transcribed today, has been placed in the section on My Childhood Stories.  It describes my growing reality as it differs from my mother’s version of the event she describes in her letter to my father, one which was added to her abuse litany of me and brought up in the midst of many beatings over the years of my childhood.

These whole 1957 letters I transcribed today (060909) are in files in a temporary location, but can be seen after they are filed in their permanent location.

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+WHY MY MOTHER IS BEING BANISHED TO HERE

Read today’s new post at Stop the Storm:

“I am going to divide and conquer, all right.  She ruled my life during all of my formative years, yet she could never completely rule me.  This is a war of wills as I continue to empower myself to rule my own body-brain-mind and soul.  She trampled where she had no business being.  She trampled on me, she trampled me.  But she did not conquer me and I aim to prove it.

“March on, oh wounded ones, march on!”

I am in fact reclaiming the soil of my own selfdom!  When I am done cleaning my own house, my mother will not be in it.”

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+PLEASE BEAR WITH ME – IMPROVEMENTS ON THE WAY

I am going to try to improve the workings of the Stop the Storm main blog by moving the more technical information on the brain over to this site.  Please bear with me through these changes!  Thanks, Linda

Couples – After the Baby is Born

Take care of your relationship!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/hsn/20090429/hl_hsn/healthtipafterbabyisborn